Hi I update real quick can't talk must sleep so I can wake up and work and knit and FINISH READING WHEEL OF TIME it has taken over all in case anyone's been wondering where I've been for two weeks it rules life aaack but it is SO GOOD and SOOOO LOOOONG must leave now promise real blog post soon kthxbye *collapse*.
(Note to self: Iced Tea + Facebook + Looming Bedtime = FAIL.)
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Believe Me I Am Still Alive
.... But there is no cake, alas. I suppose it's even a lie.
This is merely a brief reminder to myself that there is a world outside this puddle of angst that is the inside of my head; it does good to step outside and take a breather now and then. Between a sick child, a sick husband, half the people I trained at work now being promoted to positions ahead of me, and being totally broke on top of everything else, I've been wallowing in a bit of self-pity for the last couple of weeks.
Then I talked to my father-in-law last night- he ascribes to the meditative, Zen-like philosophy of "Screw It." Sounds good to me- I fell asleep early and slept like a log (even if my dreams were trippy.) To quote those yuppie t-shirts I've been seeing everywhere, life is good. Everyone's more or less recovered from the Jovian Sickness, and I can tolerate the promotions if I find out they have good reason (i.e. "[insert name] asked nicely and you weren't here" or "[insert name] screws up guest services so much we figured they'd be safer just giving people change" or "actually, the STL is grooming you for some bizarre sales floor position, where you're happier half the time anyway. Anyway, I digress.) I acknowledge that maybe these people are even better than me (though one of them has worked there for six freaking months, that's what's pissing me off more than anything) .... but if they're more competent than me for whatever reason, I want to hear it straight out, told to my face by a lifeform at least resembling homo sapiens. And I want an honest reason- "Budget cuts", or "The DTL caught you juggling one night and now he thinks you suck", or "you went through that three-month phase where you were, like, never on time." (Actually, that's probably all true.) The point is, I just want someone to talk to me. Big-girl talk; no dithering. "Mmm, yes, well, you see here..." is just going to aggravate me. I was in the Army; if you want to look me in the eye and say "We didn't promote you because you're a fucking moron", then I will nod calmly and say "Okay." I can handle it. Somebody just talk to me.
Wait a minute- a long rambling paragraph I didn't intend to write? Lots of whinging [sic] and moaning? Over-use of italics (and parentheses)* and at least one f-bomb? And (perhaps most importantly) a vague loss of coherency near the end?
By Jove, I just wrote my first rant, didn't I? I feel like I've broken some kind of blog cherry. Now all I need is a "Hundred Things About Me" list and a million pictures of my cat. Sigh. (I do feel better though.)
Life isn't all that bad- Uncle Cleve is starting to look up, I've got a fair spot of knitting done lately, and I now own a rocking chair. The Other Other Nerd is doing the dishes as a belated Mother's Day treat; this pleases me. Perhaps, if I play my cards right, I can even get cake- it will not be a lie. That is all now.
*See what I did there? Ha ha, hahaha. Hahahahaha. [Clears throat.]
This is merely a brief reminder to myself that there is a world outside this puddle of angst that is the inside of my head; it does good to step outside and take a breather now and then. Between a sick child, a sick husband, half the people I trained at work now being promoted to positions ahead of me, and being totally broke on top of everything else, I've been wallowing in a bit of self-pity for the last couple of weeks.
Then I talked to my father-in-law last night- he ascribes to the meditative, Zen-like philosophy of "Screw It." Sounds good to me- I fell asleep early and slept like a log (even if my dreams were trippy.) To quote those yuppie t-shirts I've been seeing everywhere, life is good. Everyone's more or less recovered from the Jovian Sickness, and I can tolerate the promotions if I find out they have good reason (i.e. "[insert name] asked nicely and you weren't here" or "[insert name] screws up guest services so much we figured they'd be safer just giving people change" or "actually, the STL is grooming you for some bizarre sales floor position, where you're happier half the time anyway. Anyway, I digress.) I acknowledge that maybe these people are even better than me (though one of them has worked there for six freaking months, that's what's pissing me off more than anything) .... but if they're more competent than me for whatever reason, I want to hear it straight out, told to my face by a lifeform at least resembling homo sapiens. And I want an honest reason- "Budget cuts", or "The DTL caught you juggling one night and now he thinks you suck", or "you went through that three-month phase where you were, like, never on time." (Actually, that's probably all true.) The point is, I just want someone to talk to me. Big-girl talk; no dithering. "Mmm, yes, well, you see here..." is just going to aggravate me. I was in the Army; if you want to look me in the eye and say "We didn't promote you because you're a fucking moron", then I will nod calmly and say "Okay." I can handle it. Somebody just talk to me.
Wait a minute- a long rambling paragraph I didn't intend to write? Lots of whinging [sic] and moaning? Over-use of italics (and parentheses)* and at least one f-bomb? And (perhaps most importantly) a vague loss of coherency near the end?
By Jove, I just wrote my first rant, didn't I? I feel like I've broken some kind of blog cherry. Now all I need is a "Hundred Things About Me" list and a million pictures of my cat. Sigh. (I do feel better though.)
Life isn't all that bad- Uncle Cleve is starting to look up, I've got a fair spot of knitting done lately, and I now own a rocking chair. The Other Other Nerd is doing the dishes as a belated Mother's Day treat; this pleases me. Perhaps, if I play my cards right, I can even get cake- it will not be a lie. That is all now.
*See what I did there? Ha ha, hahaha. Hahahahaha. [Clears throat.]
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